Tuesday, December 16, 2008
Ok, I lied...
I said I was only going to post one pic, but I felt like I needed to post some more of his cuteness! Lol! So, here you go!
Catching up...
I feel like time has absolutely been stolen from me. I can't believe how long it has been since I posted pics, or just an update in general. This one will be short, and I am only going to post one pic for now. :-) I promise I will get caught up eventually! We are doing great! Ryan is growing by leaps and bounds; he weighs over 7lbs now! He doesn't even look like the same baby. He is starting to smile a lot and I think he will start really cooing in the next week. Hopefully by Christmas, so my Mom can experience it. I will be going back to work on the 30th. :-( But, we found a great lady to keep him in her home. So, no daycare! Woohoo! Well, I have to get a few things done while he is asleep, so I am going to go now. Enjoy this pic! As you can see he has quite the personality!
Saturday, November 15, 2008
Aloha my long lost friends....
I feel like I have been swept into an alternate demention! We are finally home from the NICU! Our first night home was rather uneventful. Ryan is nursing every 2-2.5 hrs, and is doing great. He is still not 5lbs; sooo tiny! :-) I will post some pics soon. I am finally feeling like I can rest. I am exhausted. We were basically having to stay because Ryan wasn't gaining weight, and he needed to have all his feedings by mouth.
I spent Wed and Thurs night at the hospital in his room so he could get his NG tube out. He did so well going to all his feedings by mouth. He is such a little pig! The Dr wanted to supplement two feedings with formula, to make sure that he got all the calcium and magnesium he needed. Well, Ryan kept spitting/projectile vomiting it up. I actually had to argue with the Dr about not using it anymore. Finally, an angel of a nurse came in and just point blank told the Dr that we would NOT be supplementing anymore and that I would be breast feeding exclusively. The Dr was trying to say that breast milk wasn't enough, and that he wouldn't gain weight unless he was on the formula. Well, the first night he went to all breast milk, by mouth I add, he gained 1.6 oz! Booya! That's what I really wanted to say to that "DR." The next night he gained even more.
When the Dr came in yesterday to discharge us, he commented about how surprised he was that Ryan responded so well to breast milk. He told me that I needed to continue doing whatever it was I was doing, because it was working.
I really wanted to make a snide remark about the power of boobs and how women for centuries have been raising healthy, happy babies on them alone. But, I held my tongue. I realize that he is NICU Dr, and they usually don't get to see a preemie go home nursing. The nurses all talked about how well Ryan and I "clicked" with breast feeding. I guess it really is a rarity. Our nurse, the one that really took care of me as much as Ryan, was such a god send. Her name was Fairy! :-) (Her parents were obviously hippies) She actually cried when we left, and made me promise to bring him by to visit. I don't know what I would have done without her. I had other nurses while Ryan was there, but she was the best. She was like a surrogate mom. :-)
So, we are home now and sleeping a lot. Like I said before, I will try to post some pics soon, but don't hold me to it! :-) I know you all understand...
BTW, I already am experiencing "mom-nesia." Lol!
I spent Wed and Thurs night at the hospital in his room so he could get his NG tube out. He did so well going to all his feedings by mouth. He is such a little pig! The Dr wanted to supplement two feedings with formula, to make sure that he got all the calcium and magnesium he needed. Well, Ryan kept spitting/projectile vomiting it up. I actually had to argue with the Dr about not using it anymore. Finally, an angel of a nurse came in and just point blank told the Dr that we would NOT be supplementing anymore and that I would be breast feeding exclusively. The Dr was trying to say that breast milk wasn't enough, and that he wouldn't gain weight unless he was on the formula. Well, the first night he went to all breast milk, by mouth I add, he gained 1.6 oz! Booya! That's what I really wanted to say to that "DR." The next night he gained even more.
When the Dr came in yesterday to discharge us, he commented about how surprised he was that Ryan responded so well to breast milk. He told me that I needed to continue doing whatever it was I was doing, because it was working.
I really wanted to make a snide remark about the power of boobs and how women for centuries have been raising healthy, happy babies on them alone. But, I held my tongue. I realize that he is NICU Dr, and they usually don't get to see a preemie go home nursing. The nurses all talked about how well Ryan and I "clicked" with breast feeding. I guess it really is a rarity. Our nurse, the one that really took care of me as much as Ryan, was such a god send. Her name was Fairy! :-) (Her parents were obviously hippies) She actually cried when we left, and made me promise to bring him by to visit. I don't know what I would have done without her. I had other nurses while Ryan was there, but she was the best. She was like a surrogate mom. :-)
So, we are home now and sleeping a lot. Like I said before, I will try to post some pics soon, but don't hold me to it! :-) I know you all understand...
BTW, I already am experiencing "mom-nesia." Lol!
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
Monday, November 3, 2008
I'm a Mommy!
Well, I was going to write an elaborate blog to explain all the details of the past few days. But, as most of you now know, I am a mom now and simple don't have the brain power or the energy to think and type it all. So, in a nut shell, this is what happened.
Thursday morning (10/30) I woke up thinking that something was wrong. So, I got up, called the midwife, went into the office and found out that my membranes were ruptured. I was sent immediately to the hospital and admitted. My white count was high, so they decided to induce me. 36 long hours later, Ryan Christopher Almond was welcomed into the world. His stats were: 4lbs 15.5oz. 15 3/4in long, and his apgar scores were 8 & 9.
Ryan is doing really well. He is in the NICU until he gains weight 3 days in a row, and is completely taking a bottle or the breast. He isn't on oxygen, finished his antibiotics yesterday, and will be off his IV soon. He does have a feeding tube in his nose, but it is only being used to finish his feedings. He is eating from a bottle, and we are working on the breast. He is a feisty little thing and knows exactly what he wants and doesn't want! :-) I am going to have my hands full!
I will post pics soon! Thank you for all your prayers and support.
Thursday morning (10/30) I woke up thinking that something was wrong. So, I got up, called the midwife, went into the office and found out that my membranes were ruptured. I was sent immediately to the hospital and admitted. My white count was high, so they decided to induce me. 36 long hours later, Ryan Christopher Almond was welcomed into the world. His stats were: 4lbs 15.5oz. 15 3/4in long, and his apgar scores were 8 & 9.
Ryan is doing really well. He is in the NICU until he gains weight 3 days in a row, and is completely taking a bottle or the breast. He isn't on oxygen, finished his antibiotics yesterday, and will be off his IV soon. He does have a feeding tube in his nose, but it is only being used to finish his feedings. He is eating from a bottle, and we are working on the breast. He is a feisty little thing and knows exactly what he wants and doesn't want! :-) I am going to have my hands full!
I will post pics soon! Thank you for all your prayers and support.
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
Friday, October 24, 2008
New Photo
As promised, here is another belly shot...there will be more, but this is the only one I have right now. :-)
Part 4
Things I remember…
Part 4
Lazy afternoons playing or reading in the barn in the hay loft; Making forts out of old quilts with Alex. Fishing with Mamaw in the early morning. Chasing the Schwann man if he didn’t stop at our house. Laying in the field with “my” cow Daisy and taking a nap.
Part 4
Lazy afternoons playing or reading in the barn in the hay loft; Making forts out of old quilts with Alex. Fishing with Mamaw in the early morning. Chasing the Schwann man if he didn’t stop at our house. Laying in the field with “my” cow Daisy and taking a nap.
Friday, October 10, 2008
Part 3
On hot summer days, after working in the Aviary or the garden, Dad would take us to the corner store. Once there he would buy us cowtails, a glass bottled coke, and a pouch of salted peanuts. We would empty the peanuts into our ice cold cokes. They were so good! All day we would just think about getting to go and get our coke…
Thursday, October 9, 2008
Part 2
Things I remember…
Part 2
I remember back when my family raised birds. (also a long time ago.) There were times when we would have to spend an entire day cleaning the aviary out; it was gross. Bird poop and discarded seeds, along with several other very gross things… The dust would be so bad we would have to wear surgical masks. I’m pretty sure that if people had seen our cleaning getup they would have thought were part of a government cover-up or something very dangerous. I would usually have on a Dr. Smock, a surgical mask, rubber gloves, brogans, and I think I remember wearing safety glasses once. My hair would be pulled back very tight, usually in a ball cap that I “borrowed” from my dad or papaw. Sometimes I would be in fatigues. I didn’t see the point in ruining good clothes. If there is one thing I can say about birds is it this: In large numbers, they are the most disgusting thing on earth. Now, I have a lot of fond memories about the birds, don’t get me wrong. But, I will NEVER raise them again. They are just too much trouble. One fond memory is of the baby African Grays. They would say mama when you would come in to feed them. They were so sweet, and they would even give you kisses. The birds taught me a lot of life lessons. When I started hand feeding the babies, I guess I was about 14-15, I learned what it was like to get up every 2 hrs. I learned what it was like to not be able to just pick up and go somewhere. It was like have 4 or 5 babies, all around the same age. I learned a lot about life and death too. Cause and Effect I guess you could say. Disease and Bacterial infections were a dreaded reality in some cases. A few things were ruined forever for me. Veg-All mix will never pass my lips again. I can’t even stand to smell it! Clorox is a huge no-no for me now. The smell of it makes me sick too. Trail mix makes me want to gag, as well as sweet potatoes.
Part 2
I remember back when my family raised birds. (also a long time ago.) There were times when we would have to spend an entire day cleaning the aviary out; it was gross. Bird poop and discarded seeds, along with several other very gross things… The dust would be so bad we would have to wear surgical masks. I’m pretty sure that if people had seen our cleaning getup they would have thought were part of a government cover-up or something very dangerous. I would usually have on a Dr. Smock, a surgical mask, rubber gloves, brogans, and I think I remember wearing safety glasses once. My hair would be pulled back very tight, usually in a ball cap that I “borrowed” from my dad or papaw. Sometimes I would be in fatigues. I didn’t see the point in ruining good clothes. If there is one thing I can say about birds is it this: In large numbers, they are the most disgusting thing on earth. Now, I have a lot of fond memories about the birds, don’t get me wrong. But, I will NEVER raise them again. They are just too much trouble. One fond memory is of the baby African Grays. They would say mama when you would come in to feed them. They were so sweet, and they would even give you kisses. The birds taught me a lot of life lessons. When I started hand feeding the babies, I guess I was about 14-15, I learned what it was like to get up every 2 hrs. I learned what it was like to not be able to just pick up and go somewhere. It was like have 4 or 5 babies, all around the same age. I learned a lot about life and death too. Cause and Effect I guess you could say. Disease and Bacterial infections were a dreaded reality in some cases. A few things were ruined forever for me. Veg-All mix will never pass my lips again. I can’t even stand to smell it! Clorox is a huge no-no for me now. The smell of it makes me sick too. Trail mix makes me want to gag, as well as sweet potatoes.
I remember....a series of memories
Things I remember…
Part One
When I started driving gas was only 1.89 a gallon.
Part One
When I started driving gas was only 1.89 a gallon.
Monday, September 29, 2008
The start of week 29
It’s a typical Monday morning so far. I am here at work, and that is about it. My weekend was rather uneventful. I cleaned too much on Saturday, and thus paid for it yesterday. I went to bed around 10 on Saturday night, and then slept until about 11am on Sunday. I got up and ate, and fell back asleep on the couch around 12:30 and didn't wake until close to 5pm! So, my Sunday was basically non-existent. And guess what? I still slept hard last night. In fact, I slept so soundly that I only got up once to use the bathroom. That is HUGE for me right now. I have been a get up 3-4x a night for the past 2 week’s girl. So, it may not have just been the cleaning that did me in. I haven’t been getting solid sleep lately. I am feeling a little better today; I still feel like I could sleep all day, but I don’t feel like I could collapse. So, I guess the almost 18hrs of sleep helped!
Sunday, September 21, 2008
Ryan's 3D/4D Ultrasound!
Here are a few pics, and the URL for the video. I warn you, the video is about 16 mins long. :-) We did edit it from a whopping 44mins! I thought we might could get it down to 10, but he is just too cute...
Enjoy!
http://myspacetv.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&videoid=43279723
Enjoy!
http://myspacetv.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&videoid=43279723
Thursday, September 11, 2008
I remember...
What I remember...
I remember being confused as to how a second pilot could crash into a building that tall, when he coudl obviously see another pilot had just made that mistake...
(Yes, I had a serious naive blonde moment...)
... how quite it was in the sky. It was eerie.
...my mom calling me and telling me that I might should come home. And, I remember assuring her that a terroist wasn't going to attack a small southern town like ours with nothing to offer.
... cancelling piano lessons with my students because I couldn't concentrate.
... sitting in my car with Jake at WSBC, listening to the radio and hearing about the other planes.
... going to class at SCC, and just talking about it.
... Jake talking to me on the phone and saying "don't take this the wrong way, but I love you." (I really didn't take it the wrong way;I didn't know he meant other than in a friend way until much later...)
... turning off the radio while driving, because I couldn't listen to it anymore. The same thing with the TV. The sites and sounds were just too heartbreaking.
But, most of all, I remember the next day. The day when everything was revealed, and all the stories surfaced, and the heartbreak was at its peak for people all over the nation. The day when they knew that their loved ones that were missing, would probably not be found alive, if found at all.
I remember being confused as to how a second pilot could crash into a building that tall, when he coudl obviously see another pilot had just made that mistake...
(Yes, I had a serious naive blonde moment...)
... how quite it was in the sky. It was eerie.
...my mom calling me and telling me that I might should come home. And, I remember assuring her that a terroist wasn't going to attack a small southern town like ours with nothing to offer.
... cancelling piano lessons with my students because I couldn't concentrate.
... sitting in my car with Jake at WSBC, listening to the radio and hearing about the other planes.
... going to class at SCC, and just talking about it.
... Jake talking to me on the phone and saying "don't take this the wrong way, but I love you." (I really didn't take it the wrong way;I didn't know he meant other than in a friend way until much later...)
... turning off the radio while driving, because I couldn't listen to it anymore. The same thing with the TV. The sites and sounds were just too heartbreaking.
But, most of all, I remember the next day. The day when everything was revealed, and all the stories surfaced, and the heartbreak was at its peak for people all over the nation. The day when they knew that their loved ones that were missing, would probably not be found alive, if found at all.
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
A rainy wednesday...
It is raining here, although I don't think it will last long. But, it is nice regardless. Maybe it will wash the dust off my car...
Jake's grandma Almond passed away last week, so we were home this past weekend. I feel like I haven't been able to catch my breath lately. We leave tomorrow evening to head home again, this time for a wedding. Alex (little bro) is getting married on Saturday. So, this will be 2 weekends in a row that we have had to travel. Luckily, we are both off on Friday and Monday. I am really going to need Monday to rest.
I am trying really hard not to let myself get overwhelmed, but it isn't so easy. Last weekend was extremely emotional, but I felt like I had to keep myself in check. Ever felt like if you started crying you wouldn't stop? Yeah, that was me. I just felt like I needed to be strong for everyone else. But, I am starting to think that I should have just been a basket case and let them get over it! I have a feeling that this weekend will be different though. I am just too tired to hold it together. Of course, knowing myself like I do, I will probably hold it all in until Saturday night and cry myself to sleep.
On a different note...
Ryan is growing a little every day now. At least it feels that way! He has discovered my ribs, liver, and sciatic nerve. He seems to have fun playing with them on a regular basis! :-) And, he already has an attitude. Yesterday, he was laying really low, and it was really painful. So, I started jiggling him and poking him in hopes that he would move. Yeah, he wasn't about to do that! He just kicked and poked me right back. Did he move? Nope, not an inch! Needless to say, yesterday was a very uncomfortable day for me.
I had a great b-day though. Jake was so sweet. He bought me a cake and pizza. Yum! The cake was really sweet too. He decided that he would do the writing on it, so he bought one of those ready made icing things. Well, he was using the writing tip, and dropped it and Hank grabbed it up and chewed on it. So, he had to use another tip. He wrote: Happy Birthday, I love you. Much to my horror though, he actually put 25 candles on it! AHHHH!!!! And, not only did he do that, but he clumped them all together, so it looked like an inferno! Lol! The 25th candle was yellow (the only on in the pack he pointed out) and was set apart from the rest. He said that it symbolized how this year was different from all the rest. I thought it was so sweet, it almost made me cry. I'll post pics of it later.
Kristi bought me the cutest pair of shoes, and a matching hand bag! That was exciting too! I am a sucker for shoes and bags!
Anita sent me X-files season 5, so of course I was thrilled about that. She also gave me an awesome eyebrow tweezer and eyelash brush, as well as a really neat bag that says: "Get Groovy...Go Green"
I love thoughtful gifts. :-)
Well, I think I have written enough for now! I'll see some of you this weekend!
Jake's grandma Almond passed away last week, so we were home this past weekend. I feel like I haven't been able to catch my breath lately. We leave tomorrow evening to head home again, this time for a wedding. Alex (little bro) is getting married on Saturday. So, this will be 2 weekends in a row that we have had to travel. Luckily, we are both off on Friday and Monday. I am really going to need Monday to rest.
I am trying really hard not to let myself get overwhelmed, but it isn't so easy. Last weekend was extremely emotional, but I felt like I had to keep myself in check. Ever felt like if you started crying you wouldn't stop? Yeah, that was me. I just felt like I needed to be strong for everyone else. But, I am starting to think that I should have just been a basket case and let them get over it! I have a feeling that this weekend will be different though. I am just too tired to hold it together. Of course, knowing myself like I do, I will probably hold it all in until Saturday night and cry myself to sleep.
On a different note...
Ryan is growing a little every day now. At least it feels that way! He has discovered my ribs, liver, and sciatic nerve. He seems to have fun playing with them on a regular basis! :-) And, he already has an attitude. Yesterday, he was laying really low, and it was really painful. So, I started jiggling him and poking him in hopes that he would move. Yeah, he wasn't about to do that! He just kicked and poked me right back. Did he move? Nope, not an inch! Needless to say, yesterday was a very uncomfortable day for me.
I had a great b-day though. Jake was so sweet. He bought me a cake and pizza. Yum! The cake was really sweet too. He decided that he would do the writing on it, so he bought one of those ready made icing things. Well, he was using the writing tip, and dropped it and Hank grabbed it up and chewed on it. So, he had to use another tip. He wrote: Happy Birthday, I love you. Much to my horror though, he actually put 25 candles on it! AHHHH!!!! And, not only did he do that, but he clumped them all together, so it looked like an inferno! Lol! The 25th candle was yellow (the only on in the pack he pointed out) and was set apart from the rest. He said that it symbolized how this year was different from all the rest. I thought it was so sweet, it almost made me cry. I'll post pics of it later.
Kristi bought me the cutest pair of shoes, and a matching hand bag! That was exciting too! I am a sucker for shoes and bags!
Anita sent me X-files season 5, so of course I was thrilled about that. She also gave me an awesome eyebrow tweezer and eyelash brush, as well as a really neat bag that says: "Get Groovy...Go Green"
I love thoughtful gifts. :-)
Well, I think I have written enough for now! I'll see some of you this weekend!
Friday, August 22, 2008
My Belly
I kept forgetting to take pics of the belly, and finally last night I got out the little camera and took one! I just decided that I had better do it now, before I got any bigger. I have one from 12 weeks, but I can't find it at the moment... So, these will have to do.
This is 24 weeks.
Enjoy!
PS... I had a midwife appointment today and it went really well. I have gained a whole whopping total of 4lbs. She said that everthing looks good, regardless of my weight, and to keep up what I am doing. And, we found out that Ryan does not like for his heartbeat to be heard. Everytime she would find a good spot with the doppler, he would kick it hard! Once her hand actually left the belly he kicked so hard!
Just thought I would share!
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
Prayer Request
Jake's grandmother has been ailing for sometime now and appears to be at the end of her life. She is in the final stages of Alzheimers and her body is starting to fail. Here is the most recent info I have (this morning). She has extensive artery disease in all areas. The veins in her legs are extremely blocked up with blood clots and calcium and there is really nothing they can do. Her left foot is already dead and her right foot seems to be dying. For now they are just trying to make her comfortable. Her blood clots are moving and that could kill her at any time, although she seemed to be feeling fine last night. All pain has stopped in the left foot and the right one only hurts when its touched. If she is still living in a day or two, they will have to amputate the left leg above the knee to stop further rot. They may have to do the same for the right. They are putting that off so she can have a little more time with family when she is at least semi-alert.
Please pray for the family right now.
Please pray for the family right now.
Thursday, August 7, 2008
My boring life...
I was sitting here at working thinking about how I hadn’t blogged in a while. So, I thought I would waste some of my boring day and write a little. There really isn’t much to write about honestly. Things have been going really well lately. I have been feeling good; my belly is growing every day. Ryan is going to be a kick-boxing champion. Oh, and for those of you who didn’t already know, we are pretty sure the name is going to be “Ryan Christopher Almond.” We are at least sure about the Ryan and Almond part.
Last week the alternator went out on my car. But, thankfully I had taken out an extended warranty when I purchased the vehicle, so it was covered. I think it was the first time that I felt smart about a purchase! Lol! Most of the time I have a warranty for something and I never have to use it, or the item breaks right after the warranty expires. I’m so glad this wasn’t one of those times.
I cleaned out my closet yesterday, which was a huge accomplishment. I am still very proud of myself. I now have room to put baby things in there! And, I found my knitting supplies! I had already started on a baby blanket last year, and it is colored for a boy! How convenient… So, I am going to finish it soon. Along with cleaning out the closet, I have also gotten almost all the laundry finished. Woohoo! We have a 3 bin hamper, and it is really not a good thing for us to have. We let our clothes pile up for way too long. So, as soon as the clothes are finished, I am throwing it out. I have decided that we need to simplify as much as possible before Ryan arrives.
They say that around the time you deliver, you go into nesting mode. Well, I can’t imagine what I will be like then, because I have been on a roll this week. Here is the list of things I have accomplished so far.
Hung Curtains in Bedroom
Hung Picture over bed
Went through clothes to give to charity
Cleaned out closet
Washed a ton of clothes, folded and put away,
Vacuumed
Dusted
Dishes (this never seems to be complete)
Cleaned Bathroom
Started on the Spare/junk room.
My goal is to clean out the spare room so we can put some baby stuff in there too. It isn’t really bad in there, but it needs some organizing.
So, my short blog has turned into a small novel. But, I am finished now. I don’t think I have anything else to add.
Except this: I’m not happy about Bret Favre, and I am so glad that Football is back; Even if it is only preseason!
There. Now I am finished!
Last week the alternator went out on my car. But, thankfully I had taken out an extended warranty when I purchased the vehicle, so it was covered. I think it was the first time that I felt smart about a purchase! Lol! Most of the time I have a warranty for something and I never have to use it, or the item breaks right after the warranty expires. I’m so glad this wasn’t one of those times.
I cleaned out my closet yesterday, which was a huge accomplishment. I am still very proud of myself. I now have room to put baby things in there! And, I found my knitting supplies! I had already started on a baby blanket last year, and it is colored for a boy! How convenient… So, I am going to finish it soon. Along with cleaning out the closet, I have also gotten almost all the laundry finished. Woohoo! We have a 3 bin hamper, and it is really not a good thing for us to have. We let our clothes pile up for way too long. So, as soon as the clothes are finished, I am throwing it out. I have decided that we need to simplify as much as possible before Ryan arrives.
They say that around the time you deliver, you go into nesting mode. Well, I can’t imagine what I will be like then, because I have been on a roll this week. Here is the list of things I have accomplished so far.
Hung Curtains in Bedroom
Hung Picture over bed
Went through clothes to give to charity
Cleaned out closet
Washed a ton of clothes, folded and put away,
Vacuumed
Dusted
Dishes (this never seems to be complete)
Cleaned Bathroom
Started on the Spare/junk room.
My goal is to clean out the spare room so we can put some baby stuff in there too. It isn’t really bad in there, but it needs some organizing.
So, my short blog has turned into a small novel. But, I am finished now. I don’t think I have anything else to add.
Except this: I’m not happy about Bret Favre, and I am so glad that Football is back; Even if it is only preseason!
There. Now I am finished!
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
Sunday, July 20, 2008
Perfect Strangers
I am sitting on the couch watching an episode of "Perfect Strangers" and thoroughly enjoying myself. :-) I used to watch this show with my grandmother, but hadn't really thought about it in years. Someone that I work with mentioned that they had the first 2 seasons on DVD. So, she let me borrow them and we have had so much fun watching it! I really miss when sitcoms were funny, and clean enough for the kids to watch. Now days everything is a sex joke, or an innuendo for one. Granted, kids don't really understand everything they hear, but at the same time you never really know what they understand. Kids are odd like that. Sometimes they remember things so obscure its almost creepy! Anyway, I was thinking about the show and how odd it would be to live with someone that you don't know. Even if they are related. Then I kind of chuckled because if you have kids you have done this! A baby is a perfect little stranger. A stranger who comes from a strange place, has its own language, and doesn't understand anything about how things are "supposed" to be. They have to learn how to acclimate to our environment. It must be really hard to be a newborn! There is a reason we don't remember that far back...
If you ever get the chance to buy or rent this show, it is worth it. :-)
If you ever get the chance to buy or rent this show, it is worth it. :-)
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
A Teary Eyed Day
This morning when I woke up I didn’t think I was going to be able to pull myself out of bed. I have been having hot flashes, and not sleeping well for the past several days. So, on top of being really tired, I am also very emotionally charged. I was reading a friends blog yesterday, she is also preggo, and she was talking about how emotional she is, and how she cries over everything. I thought at the time, “Boy, I am so glad that I am not that bad, and haven’t had a hard time lately.” That thought was very premature! Of course, her outrageous emotions are from low iron and can be fixed. Mine are just from exhaustion. We had friends down this past weekend, and it was so much fun. I really enjoyed myself. However, it really wore me out. I hate that I can’t be the fun spontaneous person that I used to be. Not that I was ever “wild,” but I could stay up until way past midnight with no problems. Now, staying up past 10 is a major ordeal.
Anyway, I am very teary today. Every sad song that comes on the radio makes me want to cry. Even answering the phone makes me almost cry. I haven’t seen Jake since Sunday, just typing that makes me want to cry. I even tried to make myself suck it up by reminding myself that some of my friends and family have husbands or sig. others off fighting wars. That didn’t help. It just made me want to cry even more for them! Hopefully, tomorrow will be a better day. Until then, I will sit here and try to think happy thoughts.
This reminds me… only 6.5 more days until we find out if we are getting a hamburger or hotdog! Yea! There is a happy thought. I will cling to that one! Lol!
Anyway, I am very teary today. Every sad song that comes on the radio makes me want to cry. Even answering the phone makes me almost cry. I haven’t seen Jake since Sunday, just typing that makes me want to cry. I even tried to make myself suck it up by reminding myself that some of my friends and family have husbands or sig. others off fighting wars. That didn’t help. It just made me want to cry even more for them! Hopefully, tomorrow will be a better day. Until then, I will sit here and try to think happy thoughts.
This reminds me… only 6.5 more days until we find out if we are getting a hamburger or hotdog! Yea! There is a happy thought. I will cling to that one! Lol!
Monday, July 7, 2008
Update
I just thought I would write a quick update. Everything is going really well with the pregnancy so far. It seems that things have finally calmed down, we haven't had anymore bogus tests, so our stress level is much lower. :-)
We go back on the 23rd of this month to find out if we are having a boy or girl. So, we are starting to get excited. I think it will seem more real to us then. I am finally starting to "feel" pregnant, which I am sure sounds strange. Even though I was so sick for a while, it just seemed like a stomach bug. Now, I am showing, and the baby is moving more and more. I find that I can not stand as quickly as before, and I can't climb stairs as well either. I'm not big yet, but my equilibrium is way off. Trying to wash my feet standing in the shower is not a good idea! :-)
I told Jake that we are going to have to take some pics this week of my belly so I can post them. I have one from 12 weeks, but of course there is nothing there. Well, nothing from the baby that is! (I may not post that one...) Lol!
Well, that is about it for the update. It is rather nice to have such a short one!
PS. I just finished reading "Belly Laughs" and it was great. I really felt so much better after reading it. She really lays it all out there, no matter how embarrassing or ugly! I would suggest any one who is expecting, or thinking about it, to read it. I am going to try and get Jake to read it too!
We go back on the 23rd of this month to find out if we are having a boy or girl. So, we are starting to get excited. I think it will seem more real to us then. I am finally starting to "feel" pregnant, which I am sure sounds strange. Even though I was so sick for a while, it just seemed like a stomach bug. Now, I am showing, and the baby is moving more and more. I find that I can not stand as quickly as before, and I can't climb stairs as well either. I'm not big yet, but my equilibrium is way off. Trying to wash my feet standing in the shower is not a good idea! :-)
I told Jake that we are going to have to take some pics this week of my belly so I can post them. I have one from 12 weeks, but of course there is nothing there. Well, nothing from the baby that is! (I may not post that one...) Lol!
Well, that is about it for the update. It is rather nice to have such a short one!
PS. I just finished reading "Belly Laughs" and it was great. I really felt so much better after reading it. She really lays it all out there, no matter how embarrassing or ugly! I would suggest any one who is expecting, or thinking about it, to read it. I am going to try and get Jake to read it too!
Time in a bottle....if only!
Where does time go? I am over 17 weeks pregnant, and it seems impossible that I could be almost half way through with this pregnancy. I guess I should be thankful that time has passed so gracefully, but it bothers me instead. I can’t help but think that if time is going this fast now, what will it be like when the baby is actually here? Tomorrow is my cousin CJ’s b-day; he will be 16. That scares the poo out of me. I remember when he came home from the hospital! When I was 10, I would go and take care of him while my aunt was going through chemo. He was 2 then. How can he be 16??? Will my children grow that fast? Will the years just be a blur? Of course they will. I know they will. I guess the only way to survive is to just slow down a little and enjoy the blur.
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
Operation Baby Almond 2008: Update
I thought I would write a quick update about Operation Baby Almond 2008. Yes, that is what I am going to start calling this pregnancy!
I went for my June check up yesterday afternoon and everything seems to be going well. I met a new mid-wife, there are 3 in the practice, and I really liked her a lot. Not that I don’t like the first mid-wife ok, but she seems a bit patronizing. I can’t stand being patronized. Anyway, I was able to hear the heart beat, and it was sooo clear! I was just expecting a wa-wa sound, but it sounded as if I was listening to my own heart through a stethoscope. Well, my heart sped up a lot that is. It is amazing that little monkey’s heart can possibly beat that fast. She didn’t count it, but said that it was really strong. We will be going back on July 23rd, the day after Jake’s b-day, to find out what we are having! It seems so far away, but I know the 5 weeks will fly by really fast. I was hoping they would see me sooner, but it is probably best this way. There shouldn’t be any doubt at 19 weeks. Hopefully baby won’t be shy on that day!
They also did another blood test; I am not worried about it at all. And, even the mid-wife was confused as to why they needed to do another. But, I guess my first mid-wife is being cautious. Whatever… They are doing it free of charge. I declined to have any other testing done. This was something else that impressed me about the second mid-wife. When she asked me if I was going to go through with all the other testing (downs, ect…) and I said no, she didn’t even blink an eye. It was nice to be able to make a decision without anyone looking at me like I was a horrible person.
So, over all Operation Baby Almond 2008, is a success thus far.
I went for my June check up yesterday afternoon and everything seems to be going well. I met a new mid-wife, there are 3 in the practice, and I really liked her a lot. Not that I don’t like the first mid-wife ok, but she seems a bit patronizing. I can’t stand being patronized. Anyway, I was able to hear the heart beat, and it was sooo clear! I was just expecting a wa-wa sound, but it sounded as if I was listening to my own heart through a stethoscope. Well, my heart sped up a lot that is. It is amazing that little monkey’s heart can possibly beat that fast. She didn’t count it, but said that it was really strong. We will be going back on July 23rd, the day after Jake’s b-day, to find out what we are having! It seems so far away, but I know the 5 weeks will fly by really fast. I was hoping they would see me sooner, but it is probably best this way. There shouldn’t be any doubt at 19 weeks. Hopefully baby won’t be shy on that day!
They also did another blood test; I am not worried about it at all. And, even the mid-wife was confused as to why they needed to do another. But, I guess my first mid-wife is being cautious. Whatever… They are doing it free of charge. I declined to have any other testing done. This was something else that impressed me about the second mid-wife. When she asked me if I was going to go through with all the other testing (downs, ect…) and I said no, she didn’t even blink an eye. It was nice to be able to make a decision without anyone looking at me like I was a horrible person.
So, over all Operation Baby Almond 2008, is a success thus far.
Thursday, June 5, 2008
The experience of my eyes...
I was driving on a back road Monday morning around 7:40am, completely taking for granted the nice car I drive and the air condition blowing cold air in my face. I was taking for granted that I have family and friends, a wonderful husband, and my youth. I was taking for granted that I have a job, and even though things are hard sometimes, make my bills. I realized all this in a period of about 2 seconds. I saw something that made me sad. What I saw made me sad for many reasons, and it made me really think about the world we live in. This is the experience of my eyes…
I was driving down the road, enjoying a new CD and hoping I made it to work on time, when I saw him; he was about 80+ yrs old. He was standing by the side of the road with a cane in one hand, and the other held away from his body in the position that some people would give the thumbs up sign. Only he wasn't giving the thumbs up sign, he was trying to catch a ride. He looked so frail, and gaunt. In the 2 seconds it took for my car to pass him, I saw more about this individual than I probably see of myself every morning in the mirror. He is alone, he has no one, and he has nothing. I watched him for as long as I could, even to look back in the rear view mirror. After our line of cars passed, with no one offering a ride, he started feebly walking the scorching, uneven asphalt. This is the point at which I realized how awful this world can really be.
I started thinking that it wasn't fair that I couldn't offer him a ride. I was angry that when I thought about the idea, I had this grotesque scene run through my head of this little old man turning vicious and bludgeoning me to death with his aluminum cane. But, I also realized that in today's world it could happen. This is what made me sad. It is a sad day when we can't help strangers in need for fear of being killed or robbed. It is sad that the innocent suffer because of this.
I even tried to justify my thoughts by thinking horrible thoughts about this man. "He's probably a drunk… I'll bet he beat his kids, and that's why they aren't around…." But this only made me feel worse. Why do we automatically assume that someone is in a bad situation because they did something to deserve it? Why are we so jaded?
I just wanted to cry for this old man. I don't care what his story is, I just know that he needed help and there was no one to give it. I hope he made it where he was going.
I was driving down the road, enjoying a new CD and hoping I made it to work on time, when I saw him; he was about 80+ yrs old. He was standing by the side of the road with a cane in one hand, and the other held away from his body in the position that some people would give the thumbs up sign. Only he wasn't giving the thumbs up sign, he was trying to catch a ride. He looked so frail, and gaunt. In the 2 seconds it took for my car to pass him, I saw more about this individual than I probably see of myself every morning in the mirror. He is alone, he has no one, and he has nothing. I watched him for as long as I could, even to look back in the rear view mirror. After our line of cars passed, with no one offering a ride, he started feebly walking the scorching, uneven asphalt. This is the point at which I realized how awful this world can really be.
I started thinking that it wasn't fair that I couldn't offer him a ride. I was angry that when I thought about the idea, I had this grotesque scene run through my head of this little old man turning vicious and bludgeoning me to death with his aluminum cane. But, I also realized that in today's world it could happen. This is what made me sad. It is a sad day when we can't help strangers in need for fear of being killed or robbed. It is sad that the innocent suffer because of this.
I even tried to justify my thoughts by thinking horrible thoughts about this man. "He's probably a drunk… I'll bet he beat his kids, and that's why they aren't around…." But this only made me feel worse. Why do we automatically assume that someone is in a bad situation because they did something to deserve it? Why are we so jaded?
I just wanted to cry for this old man. I don't care what his story is, I just know that he needed help and there was no one to give it. I hope he made it where he was going.
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
It sooo slow here today!!!
It is really slow at work today, so I thought I would waste a little more time on here! ;-) Here are some photos taken recently in downtown Wilmington. Enjoy!
All is quite....for now
It seems that everyone is finally back to normal in our neck of the woods. Nerves are relaxed, minds are rested, and morning sickness seems to be slacking off. Hopefully it will be gone in the next couple of weeks. I am right at 11 weeks, and everything is going really well.
My manager just found out that she will be having a boy! Now I am feeling impatient! I won't find out for at least another 6-8 weeks. Those weeks will fly by I am sure, but it just seems so far away!
Several people have asked me if I have a preference, boy or girl? The truth is that for a while I felt very strongly that I would have a boy. I don't know why really, it was just a gut feeling. Now, that feeling isn't there. It thought that I really wanted a boy. Because of these feelings, I was afraid that if I found out I was having a girl I would be upset. I even dreamed that I had twins (boy and girl) and completely abandoned the girl. In the dream I told Jake that I didn't want anything to do with her, he could have her. :-) I KNOW that I would never be like that for real, but it was still upsetting.
Now, I know that either way I will be happy. There are so many good things about boys and girls. You can't really compare the two, or at least I can't.
So, my preference is healthy.
Several people have also asked me if I am "showing."
The answer? No. I am not. :-)
My pants aren't comfortable anymore, and I am washing and wearing the same 3 pairs of pants that do fit. They aren't really too tight, its just when I sit down they hit on my waist funny. I am much more sensitive. I am even avoiding certain underware! I have noticed a slight "bump" very low on my abdomen, but it is something only I would notice, if you know what I mean. :-)
Well, I think that is all I have to update for now. I just thought I would blog real quick, while it is slow here at work. I'll keep you posted for any new developments!
My manager just found out that she will be having a boy! Now I am feeling impatient! I won't find out for at least another 6-8 weeks. Those weeks will fly by I am sure, but it just seems so far away!
Several people have asked me if I have a preference, boy or girl? The truth is that for a while I felt very strongly that I would have a boy. I don't know why really, it was just a gut feeling. Now, that feeling isn't there. It thought that I really wanted a boy. Because of these feelings, I was afraid that if I found out I was having a girl I would be upset. I even dreamed that I had twins (boy and girl) and completely abandoned the girl. In the dream I told Jake that I didn't want anything to do with her, he could have her. :-) I KNOW that I would never be like that for real, but it was still upsetting.
Now, I know that either way I will be happy. There are so many good things about boys and girls. You can't really compare the two, or at least I can't.
So, my preference is healthy.
Several people have also asked me if I am "showing."
The answer? No. I am not. :-)
My pants aren't comfortable anymore, and I am washing and wearing the same 3 pairs of pants that do fit. They aren't really too tight, its just when I sit down they hit on my waist funny. I am much more sensitive. I am even avoiding certain underware! I have noticed a slight "bump" very low on my abdomen, but it is something only I would notice, if you know what I mean. :-)
Well, I think that is all I have to update for now. I just thought I would blog real quick, while it is slow here at work. I'll keep you posted for any new developments!
Friday, May 16, 2008
It's just never simple with us...
I have come to the conclusion that nothing is ever going to be simple for Jake and I. Let me just tell you about the past week. To put it lightly, it was the week from hell. Before I go into the whole story let me assure that everything is fine, and my tests came back good. But, here is what we have been through in the past week.
Last Wednesday I called the OB office to ask a simple question, when I spoke with the nurse she said that my tests came back and they were all good. I was very happy with this news, and was starting to feel excited about the baby; really excited for the first time.
Then on Thursday, I received a call around noon. It was the nurse for my midwife. She said that the midwife would like to see me before my next appointment, to go over the results of my tests. She told me that they had an opening that day at 3:30. So, I told her I would be there. I knew that Jake would be able to meet me, because he gets off work around that time.
I proceed to the OB clinic a little anxious; why would she call us in for good news? Jake and I had to wait for over an hour to be seen, during which the nurse who called me said that we would be seen asap, but that she had “worked” us in. This made me really nervous. I wasn’t told that I was being “worked” in. I was told they had an opening. I am trying to remain calm, but hormones aren’t letting me do that easily. We finally get a room, and the midwife comes in. She sits down and cuts to the chase. This is what she says:
“I wanted you to come in because I have bad news, your HIV test came back positive.”
Yeah. You can imagine how that news was taken. I thought I was going to fall off the table. I couldn’t see Jake because of the way we were sitting, but I’m pretty sure he looked like a ghost.
I proceeded to tell her that it is impossible and the test HAS to be a false positive. She just looks at us skeptically; mainly at Jake. We both explain to her that we have only ever slept with each other, never have done any type of drugs, and have never had blood transfusions. I mean come on guys, we are monk like. Our parents couldn’t have asked for better kids.
She tells us that she is going to need to run some more tests to see how much of the virus I had, so they knew when they needed to start treatment and how much they needed to treat. It was cut and dry. No hope. I asked her if it could be a false-positive, and she did say that she had a patient before that had one. But she wasn’t very convincing. I then asked her what could cause a false-positive. She tells me that there are 100’s of viruses that could cause it. But once again, she isn’t convincing. She is looking at us like we would look at a starving puppy. I ask her how it would affect the baby. She told us that with medication it was a very low risk of the baby having it too. But, that I would have to have a cesarean, and wouldn’t be able to breastfeed. I was devastated.
Jake and I go home, in a daze. I go to bed and stay there for the rest of the night. I think I slept, but it was from sheer exhaustion from sobbing for a few hours. I managed to get up and go to work on Friday; although, I wasn’t really good for anything. I did what little research I could. I didn’t want anyone at work to know until we got the other blood work back; no need for everyone to have unnecessary worry or freak out. I did find out that there are many reason why a test could come back false-positive. And, of course being the weird person I am, I had at least 5-6 reasons listed on the CDC’s list. This made me feel a little better. Not a lot, but it gave me a little hope. I called my midwife and talked/cried on the phone to her about it and asked a few questions. She had more answers on the phone, concerning things that could cause it to be positive. I thought this really sucked, because she could have given me some of that information the day before. She basically said that Jake and I were telling the 100% truth, my tests should come back negative.
By the end of Friday, I had decided that I had cried enough. I was not going to believe it. I told Jake that I wasn’t going to believe it because it was impossible. Of course, the whole crying thing only lasted until I got home. As soon as I saw how upset he was, I broke down. I wasn’t even upset about the whole being sick and dying thing, I was upset because I didn’t know if he really believed me. I can deal with a lot, but loosing Jake’s trust isn’t one of them. That is one thing that would absolutely kill me; especially if it was about something that I was truly innocent. We spent the evening in the bedroom again. My mom called and we talked for a long time. She made me feel a lot better. By the time we got off the phone I had my resolve back. Saturday and Sunday weren’t awful, but I think we were just numb. We didn’t hear back from the midwife until this past Wednesday, 6 days later. She called me at 5:30pm. She told me that my tests came back negative. She had re-run the first tests and done the viral load, all came back negative; completely negative. They don't know why the first one was positive. She said she guessed it was just human error. She profusely apologized for us having to go through what we did, and having to wait so long. I was of course relieved, and for the first time in a week smiled.
I knew that the test was bogus, but it really messes with your head. It caused a lot of unnecessary questions to rise between Jake and I, but in the end, I think it really made us stronger as a couple. We learned to really cling to each other and not loose faith in each other. Now it is almost a joke that we got so upset. I told someone that I felt like I needed a T-shirt that said “I’m a Survivor!” I will say that it makes everything else look petty now. :-)
I am going to write another blog with some of the things I found out through extensive research concerning these tests. Women need to know about these tests, and how inaccurate they can really be, both positive and negative. If health care providers would provide proper education, it would help prevent a lot of unnecessary stress.
Last Wednesday I called the OB office to ask a simple question, when I spoke with the nurse she said that my tests came back and they were all good. I was very happy with this news, and was starting to feel excited about the baby; really excited for the first time.
Then on Thursday, I received a call around noon. It was the nurse for my midwife. She said that the midwife would like to see me before my next appointment, to go over the results of my tests. She told me that they had an opening that day at 3:30. So, I told her I would be there. I knew that Jake would be able to meet me, because he gets off work around that time.
I proceed to the OB clinic a little anxious; why would she call us in for good news? Jake and I had to wait for over an hour to be seen, during which the nurse who called me said that we would be seen asap, but that she had “worked” us in. This made me really nervous. I wasn’t told that I was being “worked” in. I was told they had an opening. I am trying to remain calm, but hormones aren’t letting me do that easily. We finally get a room, and the midwife comes in. She sits down and cuts to the chase. This is what she says:
“I wanted you to come in because I have bad news, your HIV test came back positive.”
Yeah. You can imagine how that news was taken. I thought I was going to fall off the table. I couldn’t see Jake because of the way we were sitting, but I’m pretty sure he looked like a ghost.
I proceeded to tell her that it is impossible and the test HAS to be a false positive. She just looks at us skeptically; mainly at Jake. We both explain to her that we have only ever slept with each other, never have done any type of drugs, and have never had blood transfusions. I mean come on guys, we are monk like. Our parents couldn’t have asked for better kids.
She tells us that she is going to need to run some more tests to see how much of the virus I had, so they knew when they needed to start treatment and how much they needed to treat. It was cut and dry. No hope. I asked her if it could be a false-positive, and she did say that she had a patient before that had one. But she wasn’t very convincing. I then asked her what could cause a false-positive. She tells me that there are 100’s of viruses that could cause it. But once again, she isn’t convincing. She is looking at us like we would look at a starving puppy. I ask her how it would affect the baby. She told us that with medication it was a very low risk of the baby having it too. But, that I would have to have a cesarean, and wouldn’t be able to breastfeed. I was devastated.
Jake and I go home, in a daze. I go to bed and stay there for the rest of the night. I think I slept, but it was from sheer exhaustion from sobbing for a few hours. I managed to get up and go to work on Friday; although, I wasn’t really good for anything. I did what little research I could. I didn’t want anyone at work to know until we got the other blood work back; no need for everyone to have unnecessary worry or freak out. I did find out that there are many reason why a test could come back false-positive. And, of course being the weird person I am, I had at least 5-6 reasons listed on the CDC’s list. This made me feel a little better. Not a lot, but it gave me a little hope. I called my midwife and talked/cried on the phone to her about it and asked a few questions. She had more answers on the phone, concerning things that could cause it to be positive. I thought this really sucked, because she could have given me some of that information the day before. She basically said that Jake and I were telling the 100% truth, my tests should come back negative.
By the end of Friday, I had decided that I had cried enough. I was not going to believe it. I told Jake that I wasn’t going to believe it because it was impossible. Of course, the whole crying thing only lasted until I got home. As soon as I saw how upset he was, I broke down. I wasn’t even upset about the whole being sick and dying thing, I was upset because I didn’t know if he really believed me. I can deal with a lot, but loosing Jake’s trust isn’t one of them. That is one thing that would absolutely kill me; especially if it was about something that I was truly innocent. We spent the evening in the bedroom again. My mom called and we talked for a long time. She made me feel a lot better. By the time we got off the phone I had my resolve back. Saturday and Sunday weren’t awful, but I think we were just numb. We didn’t hear back from the midwife until this past Wednesday, 6 days later. She called me at 5:30pm. She told me that my tests came back negative. She had re-run the first tests and done the viral load, all came back negative; completely negative. They don't know why the first one was positive. She said she guessed it was just human error. She profusely apologized for us having to go through what we did, and having to wait so long. I was of course relieved, and for the first time in a week smiled.
I knew that the test was bogus, but it really messes with your head. It caused a lot of unnecessary questions to rise between Jake and I, but in the end, I think it really made us stronger as a couple. We learned to really cling to each other and not loose faith in each other. Now it is almost a joke that we got so upset. I told someone that I felt like I needed a T-shirt that said “I’m a Survivor!” I will say that it makes everything else look petty now. :-)
I am going to write another blog with some of the things I found out through extensive research concerning these tests. Women need to know about these tests, and how inaccurate they can really be, both positive and negative. If health care providers would provide proper education, it would help prevent a lot of unnecessary stress.
Tuesday, May 6, 2008
Katsup
I haven't been on here in a while because I have felt really crummy. :-) This baby is kicking my butt in the Morning Sickness department. And also in the "I'm so tired I could die" category. So, please forgive my slacking. Everything is going really well. We had another U/S last week, they wanted another one because my first was so early. The baby is doing well, its heart beat was 167. It was really neat to see it looking like a baby. And I was amazed at how much it had grown in 2 wks! (from 6mm to 1 in.) You could actually make out little fingers! We will get to hear the heart beat when we go back on June 6th. Only 9.5 weeks until we get to see if it is a boy or girl! I am hoping for a boy, but I will be happy with either. They both have pros and cons. :-)
Thursday, April 17, 2008
Crazy!
Being pregnant is definitely going to be a challenge; challenging physically, and mentally. I am doing much better mentally in thanks to all my wonderful friends that have been so supportive and encouraging. Not to mention Jake who has been so supportive and loving. But, I am finding that I am being challenged on a completely different mental level now. I am so emotional/hormonal that I don’t know what to do! I feel so bad for Jake sometimes. I seriously will bite his head off over nothing. And, I cry at the drop of a hat. It doesn’t matter what it is. In fact, I could almost start crying writing about crying! Lol!
Here is a good example of an emotional outburst.
We were watching a movie (Lars and the Real Girl) and I was laughing, and then I wasn’t. Jake looked at me like I had sprouted two heads (which I guess I will get a lot). The movie was excellent by the way, it really showed what true family love and neighborhood support is all about. Not a family movie really, but if you get the chance to have a movie night with the hubby, rent it. But, anyway, after the movie went off I cried for over an hour. I could not stop! Jake was supportive at first, and we were both kind of laughing about it. But I guess after about 30mins it became really funny to him, and not to funny to me. He started laughing again, and I got furious. So here I am sobbing and furious. Then I wasn’t even angry, I was just hurt that he would laugh. I knew at the time that it was ridiculous I feel that way. Then I felt really bad about it all and that made me cry even harder!
These emotions make me feel like I am going crazy! Lol! If you have any advise please give it!
Here is a good example of an emotional outburst.
We were watching a movie (Lars and the Real Girl) and I was laughing, and then I wasn’t. Jake looked at me like I had sprouted two heads (which I guess I will get a lot). The movie was excellent by the way, it really showed what true family love and neighborhood support is all about. Not a family movie really, but if you get the chance to have a movie night with the hubby, rent it. But, anyway, after the movie went off I cried for over an hour. I could not stop! Jake was supportive at first, and we were both kind of laughing about it. But I guess after about 30mins it became really funny to him, and not to funny to me. He started laughing again, and I got furious. So here I am sobbing and furious. Then I wasn’t even angry, I was just hurt that he would laugh. I knew at the time that it was ridiculous I feel that way. Then I felt really bad about it all and that made me cry even harder!
These emotions make me feel like I am going crazy! Lol! If you have any advise please give it!
Tuesday, April 15, 2008
So much has happened in so little a time!
April 4th-15th, 2008
I found out on the 4th that I am pregnant. I have never felt as scared as I did when I saw those 2 pink lines. It was like all the air in my lungs disappeared, and had no plans for returning. I’m not sure how many times I looked at the test, then the instructions, then the test, then the instructions, well you get the point. All I could do was stand there for a long time. I eventually ended up on the floor with my back against the tub. I am pretty sure I might have been rocking back and forth. I couldn’t even go tell Jake, who was in the computer room. Instead, I sent him a text. (Call me chicken if you want, but I don’t think my voice would have worked anyway.)
By the time I sent the text I had been in the bathroom for a long time. Or at least it seemed like a long time. Jake didn’t respond, he didn’t come in, nothing. So, I assumed that he didn’t get it. So, I called him. (Yes, I am still being chicken) He answered the phone “I got it.” This is the point that I started crying. He came into the bathroom a few minutes later. We sat and talked, with me mostly crying/sobbing. Something that I should point out about Jake is that he either has the perfect words, or the most imperfect words. Luckily, he had the perfect words at this time. He managed to calm me down and coax me out of the bathroom. I spent the rest of the evening laying on the bed in a daze. I took the second test on Saturday morning. It too showed 2 bright pink lines. Needless to say, the whole next week was a blur of hormones/emotions.
I had my first Midwife appointment this past Friday. I was so happy with her; she was so nice and supportive. Jake really liked her too, which to me was a big deal. She told us that everything seemed fine and scheduled us for an ultrasound.
We went yesterday and had out first U/S. It was so amazing to see! The technician was so nice and assuring. I am 5.5 weeks, and the baby looks good (6cm). Of course there isn’t much to see, it really looked like a fleck of pepper. But, just to see the heart beating made me feel a lot better. The FHR (fetal heart rate) was 113, which the tech said was good for 5 wks. I am not feeling as scared as I did. I’m more amazed now. We were able to get a picture, so I have one and Jake has one. I can’t seem to stop looking at it. The fact that this tiny being will one day be a full grown person is crazy!
Other than extreme fatigue and having morning sickness, I am fine. Granted, the sickness isn’t cool at all. The Dr. did put me on an anti-nausea diet, and for the most part it works well. But, I know that I will occasionally have mornings like this morning when I am jumping up and praying I make to the bathroom in time. :-) Fun times!
I found out on the 4th that I am pregnant. I have never felt as scared as I did when I saw those 2 pink lines. It was like all the air in my lungs disappeared, and had no plans for returning. I’m not sure how many times I looked at the test, then the instructions, then the test, then the instructions, well you get the point. All I could do was stand there for a long time. I eventually ended up on the floor with my back against the tub. I am pretty sure I might have been rocking back and forth. I couldn’t even go tell Jake, who was in the computer room. Instead, I sent him a text. (Call me chicken if you want, but I don’t think my voice would have worked anyway.)
By the time I sent the text I had been in the bathroom for a long time. Or at least it seemed like a long time. Jake didn’t respond, he didn’t come in, nothing. So, I assumed that he didn’t get it. So, I called him. (Yes, I am still being chicken) He answered the phone “I got it.” This is the point that I started crying. He came into the bathroom a few minutes later. We sat and talked, with me mostly crying/sobbing. Something that I should point out about Jake is that he either has the perfect words, or the most imperfect words. Luckily, he had the perfect words at this time. He managed to calm me down and coax me out of the bathroom. I spent the rest of the evening laying on the bed in a daze. I took the second test on Saturday morning. It too showed 2 bright pink lines. Needless to say, the whole next week was a blur of hormones/emotions.
I had my first Midwife appointment this past Friday. I was so happy with her; she was so nice and supportive. Jake really liked her too, which to me was a big deal. She told us that everything seemed fine and scheduled us for an ultrasound.
We went yesterday and had out first U/S. It was so amazing to see! The technician was so nice and assuring. I am 5.5 weeks, and the baby looks good (6cm). Of course there isn’t much to see, it really looked like a fleck of pepper. But, just to see the heart beating made me feel a lot better. The FHR (fetal heart rate) was 113, which the tech said was good for 5 wks. I am not feeling as scared as I did. I’m more amazed now. We were able to get a picture, so I have one and Jake has one. I can’t seem to stop looking at it. The fact that this tiny being will one day be a full grown person is crazy!
Other than extreme fatigue and having morning sickness, I am fine. Granted, the sickness isn’t cool at all. The Dr. did put me on an anti-nausea diet, and for the most part it works well. But, I know that I will occasionally have mornings like this morning when I am jumping up and praying I make to the bathroom in time. :-) Fun times!
Tuesday, April 8, 2008
I choose this...
I am tired. At 24 I realize that I am tired for a lot of reasons. Tired of being used, tired of being forgotten, tired of being the friend that is always there, and getting nothing in return. Not that there haven’t been good times. There have been great times. But I am at the place in my life where I need a friend who will not bail on me at the first sign of trouble. Someone who will support me no matter what. I have always been that friend, and I thought I would receive the same in return. I was wrong. But, that is ok. I had a conversation with such a friend recently. It concerned whether or not someone could be happy with someone else after 40 yrs. I argued that you could, and that I would be with Jake. They argued the opposite. Their reason was that things are harder now, and because of that it is impossible to truly be happy with someone else. I argued back saying that a person’s happiness is their responsibility. We choose to be happy, to not let things bog us down. We choose to work with our partners and respect each other. That life is only as hard as we make it. Her reply was that I am just an idealist.
It is such a sad existence that this person will lead the rest of their lives. At first I was really hurt by this same friend. But, I now realize that it is the best thing for me and my family. Being around someone that is consistently negative will adversely affect my household and me as a person. I choose not to live like this any longer. I choose to be happy. I CHOOSE THIS. At first I felt like I was being forced into a situation, which in return made me panic. Not anymore. I know we will be fine. We will survive. We always have. We have great family, and few real friends. I wish this friend the best in life. She is going to need it. Most people would not have been as accommodating as Jake and I have been. This has been a long time coming. I will miss her, I will always love her; I just can’t bend over backwards for her any longer.
So, in closing, if you are reading this:
Good luck in everything. I hope happiness finds you; that you recognize it, embrace it, and learn from it.
It is such a sad existence that this person will lead the rest of their lives. At first I was really hurt by this same friend. But, I now realize that it is the best thing for me and my family. Being around someone that is consistently negative will adversely affect my household and me as a person. I choose not to live like this any longer. I choose to be happy. I CHOOSE THIS. At first I felt like I was being forced into a situation, which in return made me panic. Not anymore. I know we will be fine. We will survive. We always have. We have great family, and few real friends. I wish this friend the best in life. She is going to need it. Most people would not have been as accommodating as Jake and I have been. This has been a long time coming. I will miss her, I will always love her; I just can’t bend over backwards for her any longer.
So, in closing, if you are reading this:
Good luck in everything. I hope happiness finds you; that you recognize it, embrace it, and learn from it.
Sunday, March 30, 2008
The Weekend
Have you ever had a day when you just felt bad? You aren't sick; you just feel like poo? Well for me that day has been today. I haven't had a day like this in a while. All day I have just been tired, lethargic if you will. I've tried a little caffeine, I've tried eating fruit, I've tried eating a good meal. I thought I might be dehydrated, so I have drank water. Nothing has helped. I am really hoping that I am feeling better tomorrow. Otherwise, I may try to leave work a little early. I really wish I had another day in this weekend.
On a brighter side, Jake and went and got new phones today! :-) The buttons on my old phone didn't work! Although, I did feel like had abandoned an old friend when I left it. That phone and I had been through a lot.
Well, I am going to bed now. Maybe if I get a little extra sleep I will feel better in the morning.
On a brighter side, Jake and went and got new phones today! :-) The buttons on my old phone didn't work! Although, I did feel like had abandoned an old friend when I left it. That phone and I had been through a lot.
Well, I am going to bed now. Maybe if I get a little extra sleep I will feel better in the morning.
Friday, March 28, 2008
Long time no write!
I just realized that it has been a while since I wrote anything on here. So, I will write now. I am sitting at work, starving. We have food on its way, but it seems like it is taking forever! I decided to start working out again. Wednesday I started walking with a girl here at work. We walked a mile after work; it felt so good to get my blood pumping, and the weather was awesome. Last night Kristi and I walked about 1.5mi. We live in a really nice neighborhood, quite and not a lot of cars. I took the camera, but I haven't downloaded the pics yet. I will post them when I do. After we walked, I exercised more at home. Surprisingly, I'm not too sore this morning, and I feel really good. I think I jump started my metabolism though. I have been so hungry all day! And, I have eaten. I ate my breakfast like a good girl! :-)
Well my food is here now, so I am going to go! I will write more in a bit.
Well my food is here now, so I am going to go! I will write more in a bit.
Thursday, March 20, 2008
Vitamins vs. The Empty Stomach
Just in case you weren't aware, you shouldn't take vitamins on an empty/almost empty stomach. I have never had morning sickness, but I think it must be similar. I was just sitting here at work, feeling fine, and all the sudden I thought I was going to loose it all over my station. I had to run and grab a pack of crackers. Hopefully they will help me out. I guess I need to eat more in the morning! :-)
Thursday, March 13, 2008
Mmmm...Mmmm...good!
OH My Gosh! I think I am having PMS. Post that is. I have been craving chocolate all day long! I can’t seem to get enough of it. It is almost like my body needs it. Of course, I can’t think of a time when I didn’t NEED chocolate. :-) As I am writing this, I am also cooking. What am I cooking? Thai Sweet Chili Chicken, with noodles. It is going to be awesome! I am cooking fettuccine noodles, to which I am going to add: oil, garlic, ginger, oregano, red pepper, lemon, and maybe a little butter. I really wish I had some white wine. Cilantro would have been really good as well. Hmmmm....I should have made a list. :-( Oh well. It is going to be really good. I can’t believe it is already so late. Jake has to work 3rd shift tonight. I am NOT looking forward to that. I haven’t even spoken to him since I have been home. He is trying to sleep so he won’t feel horrible in the morning. It is going to be really hard for me to wake up too. I am so used to him getting up first, taking the dog out, and then I get up when he tells me bye. I am so spoiled! It is times like right now when I am glad I don’t have children. I enjoy being spoiled. Maybe one day, but for now, I like my sleep. :-)
Which reminds me.....Congrats Shanna and Shane! Emily Rae Frick, 6lbs, some odd onces, and 19in long! I can’t wait to see her!
Anyway, back to the food....
Last night I made General Tso’s Chicken. It was sooo good! I was so happy with it. Jake made sticky rice, and it turned out perfect. And, I was able to use my Tupperware Microwave cooker for the first time. We got it at a shower before we were married, but I haven’t had a microwave large enough for it to fit in! :-) Well, I steamed broccoli last night, it only 10 minutes! And, I think it could have been steamed a little less. So, next time I think I will only put 8 mins. The whole meal was far better than a restaurant, and much cheaper. We have been trying to cook with more variety at home; hoping that this will help us not want to eat out as often.
Well, the food is done, and I am hungry! :-) So, I will go now. Maybe I will take a picture so you can see it!
Which reminds me.....Congrats Shanna and Shane! Emily Rae Frick, 6lbs, some odd onces, and 19in long! I can’t wait to see her!
Anyway, back to the food....
Last night I made General Tso’s Chicken. It was sooo good! I was so happy with it. Jake made sticky rice, and it turned out perfect. And, I was able to use my Tupperware Microwave cooker for the first time. We got it at a shower before we were married, but I haven’t had a microwave large enough for it to fit in! :-) Well, I steamed broccoli last night, it only 10 minutes! And, I think it could have been steamed a little less. So, next time I think I will only put 8 mins. The whole meal was far better than a restaurant, and much cheaper. We have been trying to cook with more variety at home; hoping that this will help us not want to eat out as often.
Well, the food is done, and I am hungry! :-) So, I will go now. Maybe I will take a picture so you can see it!
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
New...
New tellers, new ideas, new thoughts, new headache. This has been my week. The headache just hit, and yes it is a literal headache. :-) Not caused by the afore mentioned list. Things have been going really well so far. Hopefully they will continue too. We are having another bake sale this friday for Relay, so that should be fun. I think spring is here to stay, and with that comes pollen. This is where I think my headache is stemming. Or, it could be a caffeine withdrawal symptom. I am trying to stop using it, but I keep forgetting to drink my green tea instead. It really makes a HUGE difference. Anyway, I think I will take a Claritin just in case. My new piano student couldn't come tonight because he has pink eye. :-( Poor thing. I have to say I am a little glad though, my head really hurts. Well, that is about it. I really don't have a lot to say. :-) Just a normal day and week...
Here are few new pics!
Monday, March 10, 2008
Today Rocked!
Today was a really good day for me! I had two new tellers start, which I was worried about, but they did great. I received a call about Piano lessons and I have a new student starting tomorrow evening. I am so excited! When we moved I had to drop all my students. I didn’t realize how much I missed teaching until today. I can’t wait! I spoke with Matt; I may have found him a job and a roommate. And, he said that he made A’s on his midterms. Also, I spoke to my MK consultant about possibly selling MK, and that went really well. We had a nice lunch at a local café; my salad was awesome. Also, Rafaella’s, a local Italian restaurant brought us lunch, so I have that to eat for supper. Yum! So, all in all, this day rocked! The rest of the week has a lot to live up to! J
Tuesday, March 4, 2008
Excited!
Last night I hosted a Mary-Kay party. I have never been a huge fan of the MK makeup, but I realize now, that I had just not talked with the correct consultant. I tried their new Mineral Wear foundation/powder, of which of was very skeptical, and it was awesome! It had such great coverage! I am sooo excited that I have finally found a makeup that matches, and looks very natural. Anyway, we had a really fun time. There were just 5 of us, plus the consultant, but it was fun. It made me want to have girl nights more often. It was nice to make snacks and just sit around eating, and having fun together.
Matt came down this week, and will be here through Sat. I am really excited about that too. Matt, other than Jake and Kristi, is my BFF. I know that sounds funny, but he is like my brother. :0)
OH! And, we have been working on a short film. I am really excited about that too.
I am just excited all around! :-)
Matt came down this week, and will be here through Sat. I am really excited about that too. Matt, other than Jake and Kristi, is my BFF. I know that sounds funny, but he is like my brother. :0)
OH! And, we have been working on a short film. I am really excited about that too.
I am just excited all around! :-)
Thursday, February 21, 2008
A boring week...
This week has been really boring so far. Nothing has really happened that is worth writing about. I guess I could tell you that I am finally on the mend after a run with the flu. I still have the sniffles, and that famous lingering cough. I also have extreme fatigue. But, I am getting better. My appetite is improving, which is helping me not feel so fatigued.
I started playing the piano again this week. I had lent it out to my parents for several months. Alex brought it back to me when we moved into our new house in Jan. But, I just haven’t been motivated to play. I should never stop playing though. It is a major stress reliever for me. I have just been so homesick and down, I haven’t felt like doing anything other than laying on the couch and watching TV. I am trying to make a conscience effort to be more upbeat; to look at the positives. The piano has helped me the last two days. I am sooo rusty! It is going to take some hard work to get back where I was.
Hank has decided that he likes the name Ricardo. He is such an odd dog. He has several names that he really likes. He answers to: Hank, Spooky, Rabbit, and Ricardo. So weird!
I have started reading a new author. Well, she isn’t new, but she is new to me. Jodi Picoult is her name, and her books are really good. So far, I have read Picture Perfect, and My Sister’s Keeper. Both books were really well written, and really made you think about the issues in them. They usually have a moral dilemma in them. And, they aren’t clear cut. You really identify with all sides in these stories.
Well, I have written more than I had planned! But, I need to work now. So, I will write more at later time.
I started playing the piano again this week. I had lent it out to my parents for several months. Alex brought it back to me when we moved into our new house in Jan. But, I just haven’t been motivated to play. I should never stop playing though. It is a major stress reliever for me. I have just been so homesick and down, I haven’t felt like doing anything other than laying on the couch and watching TV. I am trying to make a conscience effort to be more upbeat; to look at the positives. The piano has helped me the last two days. I am sooo rusty! It is going to take some hard work to get back where I was.
Hank has decided that he likes the name Ricardo. He is such an odd dog. He has several names that he really likes. He answers to: Hank, Spooky, Rabbit, and Ricardo. So weird!
I have started reading a new author. Well, she isn’t new, but she is new to me. Jodi Picoult is her name, and her books are really good. So far, I have read Picture Perfect, and My Sister’s Keeper. Both books were really well written, and really made you think about the issues in them. They usually have a moral dilemma in them. And, they aren’t clear cut. You really identify with all sides in these stories.
Well, I have written more than I had planned! But, I need to work now. So, I will write more at later time.
Better now...
I had started this blog a couple of days ago, and my computer messed up. So, I thought I had lost it. But, here it is! It is similar to one that I posted in its place. I am really bored at work, so I thought I would post it anyway. :-)
Finally! I am getting better. My nose is a little runny, and I have that famous lingering cough. Not to mention the horrible fatigue that follows a round of the flu. But I am on the mend.
This week has been rather boring, so I don't have a lot to write about. I didn't get to see the lunar eclipe last night. It was too cloudy. Kristi saw a fox though, I thought she said "someone is throwing rocks." So, that was kind of funny. I was like where? She said it ran under the board walk! I was like huh? Ok, so that was a "had to be there" moment! :-) I started playing the piano again this week. I haven't been very motivated to do anything lately. And, I didn't have my keyboard for several months. So, my music has suffered greatly. It really feels good to play again. Although, it is also very frustrating for me. It is taking a lot of work to play the most simple things. I will get back on track if I really pratice ever day. It is going to take some hard work, but I can do it. :-)
I have been really homesick the past couple of weeks. I haven't been home since before Christmas. We are hoping to go home around Easter. I really hope everything works out. I haven't seen Mom's side of the family in a year. Not all together anyway. I really miss the family get togethers.
I am also hoping that everything works out because a friend of mine is having a baby soon, and it would awesome to get to see her and the baby!
Well, I need to work now. So, I will write more later!
Finally! I am getting better. My nose is a little runny, and I have that famous lingering cough. Not to mention the horrible fatigue that follows a round of the flu. But I am on the mend.
This week has been rather boring, so I don't have a lot to write about. I didn't get to see the lunar eclipe last night. It was too cloudy. Kristi saw a fox though, I thought she said "someone is throwing rocks." So, that was kind of funny. I was like where? She said it ran under the board walk! I was like huh? Ok, so that was a "had to be there" moment! :-) I started playing the piano again this week. I haven't been very motivated to do anything lately. And, I didn't have my keyboard for several months. So, my music has suffered greatly. It really feels good to play again. Although, it is also very frustrating for me. It is taking a lot of work to play the most simple things. I will get back on track if I really pratice ever day. It is going to take some hard work, but I can do it. :-)
I have been really homesick the past couple of weeks. I haven't been home since before Christmas. We are hoping to go home around Easter. I really hope everything works out. I haven't seen Mom's side of the family in a year. Not all together anyway. I really miss the family get togethers.
I am also hoping that everything works out because a friend of mine is having a baby soon, and it would awesome to get to see her and the baby!
Well, I need to work now. So, I will write more later!
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
Flu, Flu, and more Flu
In my last blog I wrote of being so happy that I was going to be off for our anniversary. I wrote about all the things we talked about doing. Alas, this little thing we call the influenza had other plans. Jake woke up that Saturday morning with a sore throat, and by mid-day couldn't even get off the couch. He got progressivly worse as the day went on, and ended up pretty much bed ridden for the remainder of our "vacation." He did start feeling some better on Monday night, and by Tuesday decided that he felt up to dinner and a movie. So, we went to On the Border, and saw Atonement.
I knew something wasn't right when we were eating, because I couldn't taste anything. But, I felt fine, so I ignored it. Wednesday night I ate something that made me really sick, so I had to take a half a day off work on Thursday. I felt better about mid-day and decided to go in. Then on Friday, I woke up with a scratchy throat. I thought to myself, uh-oh! I decided to ignore it and continue on with work. About 10:30, I crashed hard. My fever spiked, I became weak, and I was shaking violently. My legs were also cramping. I went to the break room to try and get control of the situation. I managed to take 2 midol, and they seemed to level out everything. So, I stayed at work. About 4hrs later, the same thing started all over again. Once again, I took 2 midol, and they helped, but this time, I stayed weak. By the time I got home, my fever was 101.5. This was at 7:10. By 7:30 my fever was over 102. For the next 3 days I might as well have been comatose. I couldn't respond, or think, or move without being in intense pain.
Today is my first day back at work, and I really think I might have gone back too soon. I am still very weak. I guess that is to be expected after running a high fever for almost 5 days. But, I am feeling better overall. The only thing that really worries me now is that I am very dehydrated. And, my chest hurts really bad. Hopefully, tomorrow will be better. :-)
I knew something wasn't right when we were eating, because I couldn't taste anything. But, I felt fine, so I ignored it. Wednesday night I ate something that made me really sick, so I had to take a half a day off work on Thursday. I felt better about mid-day and decided to go in. Then on Friday, I woke up with a scratchy throat. I thought to myself, uh-oh! I decided to ignore it and continue on with work. About 10:30, I crashed hard. My fever spiked, I became weak, and I was shaking violently. My legs were also cramping. I went to the break room to try and get control of the situation. I managed to take 2 midol, and they seemed to level out everything. So, I stayed at work. About 4hrs later, the same thing started all over again. Once again, I took 2 midol, and they helped, but this time, I stayed weak. By the time I got home, my fever was 101.5. This was at 7:10. By 7:30 my fever was over 102. For the next 3 days I might as well have been comatose. I couldn't respond, or think, or move without being in intense pain.
Today is my first day back at work, and I really think I might have gone back too soon. I am still very weak. I guess that is to be expected after running a high fever for almost 5 days. But, I am feeling better overall. The only thing that really worries me now is that I am very dehydrated. And, my chest hurts really bad. Hopefully, tomorrow will be better. :-)
Wednesday, January 30, 2008
Wednesday is a good day
I found out that I will still be off on Mon and Tues! Yea! I was so worried! :-) So, it looks like our plans (or lack there of) will still be fulfilled. I am looking forward to having 4 days off, and just relaxing. I am not sure what we will be doing, but I do know that it will include dinner and a movie. :-) Possibly a trip to the aquarium? The battleship? A New Restaurant? Who knows what the weekend will hold!
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
Tuesday again...
It is only Tuesday and I feel like I have worked a whole week. Yesterday felt like it was eternal. Mondays seem much longer than they are, but yesterday took the cake. I just had so much to do at work. And, one of my teller's quit. She didn't give a notice or anything. I am not upset that she left, in fact I understand competly. It just seems that timing isn't on my side. I am supposed to be off this coming Mon and Tues, for our 3yr anniversary. But, if I can't get another teller to replace her, I have to work. To which I am not going to be happy, and may have a slight breakdown. I NEED those 2 days. Last year I didn't even get to see Jake on our anniversary. I was in training for work 6 hrs away. So this year, if I get screwed over agian by work, I am going to be very upset. Not to mention that Jake and I really need the time together. It is rare that we can take off at the same time, unless it is a holiday. So, we don't really get to spend a lot of quality, alone time together. We both need to have those days to talk, go out to eat, relax. Reconnect. Not that we aren't connected, but with the stress of work and life in general, sometimes you aren't as close as you should be. We were both really looking forward this weekend. Oh well. We will see how it turns out. Maybe I can beg someone! :-)
Thursday, January 17, 2008
Dreaming of.....
Lately I have had very bad dreams. I guess that the appropriate word would be nightmares. I am not sure that I want to go into detail as to their content but they involved the extreme sickness and death of people close to me. I actually woke up crying one night. These dreams have haunted me all week. I know that they weren't real, but they seemed so real I can't shake them. I feel like they have stolen somthing from me. I don't know what it is, but I feel myself fighting to reclaim it. I know I will win the battle; I just wish I could stop dreaming for while.
Wednesday, January 16, 2008
Coordination and the lack there of...
I was just thinking about how uncoordinated I am. It is really strange, how I can sit down and play Bach on the piano, yet I can't walk without hurting myself! I seriously walk into a door frame at least once a week, most times more. I drop things all the time. When I drink out of a glass, I will miss my mouth and pour water all over myself. You would think that was like Martin Short's character in Pure Luck. If there is a broken chair in the room, I will sit in it. Last night I went bowling with the girls from work, and I almost took out one of my tellers with the ball! Yet, through all of this I can pull out music and play it like it is nothing hard at all. I think that at a very young age, while I was still developing my coordination skills, I put all my efforts in piano. Perhaps my brain focused so hard in this one area that everything else suffered! :-)
Tuesday, January 8, 2008
Tuesday's gone with the wind...
Deciding what to write usually isn't a problem for me. Today, however, that is not the case. My day was very ordinary. I had my monthly meeting at work, which went really well. I am officially finished with the whole kidney stone episode, which makes me very happy. I slept good last night. Oh, I had to take a freezing cold shower this morning, which put me in a less that thrilled mood for the first part of the morning. I went to VS and got PJ's on an awesome sale. Matt called, which was also awesome, we hadn't really talked in a while. Other than that, not a lot has happened. I guess I should be thankful. It isn't very often that I have a day that is just a day. :-) So, now that I have told you about my day.... How was yours?
Saturday, January 5, 2008
Kidney Stones Redux
Ok. So, I am really tired, and ever so slightly under the influence of several beers. I usually don't drink much at all, but I have been trying to pass the kidney stone. And, I think I may have either passed it, or part of it. All I know is that there was something resembling a speck of pepper in the water. yea! Any progress is progress! I am really hoping that I did pass it and that I am finished with this mess. I will know later, if I start hurting again, I will know they aren't done with me. :-0 Hopefully, this won't be the case. :-) I just wanted to send an update....
Friday, January 4, 2008
Work
I am sitting at work bored out of my mind. There is nothing to do, and it has been unreasonably slow today. I am still suffering from this damn kidney stone. The pain is lower, so I think I will pass it soon. I really wish I could be home asleep right now!
I am going to go rent an old Cary Grant movie tonight. It will either be Operation Petticoat, or Father Goose. Both are really funny, so I can't decide. Although, I heard that Shoot Em' Up would make me laugh so hard, I would pass the kidney stone laughing.... So, I may get that.
I also can't decide what to fix for dinner this weekend. I am thinking chicken and dumplings, or chicken salad. Maybe both. Wow. I have a boring ass life! My weekend is going to be unpacking boxes, organizing, cooking, and cleaning. I really need to get a life! :-)
I am going to go rent an old Cary Grant movie tonight. It will either be Operation Petticoat, or Father Goose. Both are really funny, so I can't decide. Although, I heard that Shoot Em' Up would make me laugh so hard, I would pass the kidney stone laughing.... So, I may get that.
I also can't decide what to fix for dinner this weekend. I am thinking chicken and dumplings, or chicken salad. Maybe both. Wow. I have a boring ass life! My weekend is going to be unpacking boxes, organizing, cooking, and cleaning. I really need to get a life! :-)
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