April 4th-15th, 2008
I found out on the 4th that I am pregnant. I have never felt as scared as I did when I saw those 2 pink lines. It was like all the air in my lungs disappeared, and had no plans for returning. I’m not sure how many times I looked at the test, then the instructions, then the test, then the instructions, well you get the point. All I could do was stand there for a long time. I eventually ended up on the floor with my back against the tub. I am pretty sure I might have been rocking back and forth. I couldn’t even go tell Jake, who was in the computer room. Instead, I sent him a text. (Call me chicken if you want, but I don’t think my voice would have worked anyway.)
By the time I sent the text I had been in the bathroom for a long time. Or at least it seemed like a long time. Jake didn’t respond, he didn’t come in, nothing. So, I assumed that he didn’t get it. So, I called him. (Yes, I am still being chicken) He answered the phone “I got it.” This is the point that I started crying. He came into the bathroom a few minutes later. We sat and talked, with me mostly crying/sobbing. Something that I should point out about Jake is that he either has the perfect words, or the most imperfect words. Luckily, he had the perfect words at this time. He managed to calm me down and coax me out of the bathroom. I spent the rest of the evening laying on the bed in a daze. I took the second test on Saturday morning. It too showed 2 bright pink lines. Needless to say, the whole next week was a blur of hormones/emotions.
I had my first Midwife appointment this past Friday. I was so happy with her; she was so nice and supportive. Jake really liked her too, which to me was a big deal. She told us that everything seemed fine and scheduled us for an ultrasound.
We went yesterday and had out first U/S. It was so amazing to see! The technician was so nice and assuring. I am 5.5 weeks, and the baby looks good (6cm). Of course there isn’t much to see, it really looked like a fleck of pepper. But, just to see the heart beating made me feel a lot better. The FHR (fetal heart rate) was 113, which the tech said was good for 5 wks. I am not feeling as scared as I did. I’m more amazed now. We were able to get a picture, so I have one and Jake has one. I can’t seem to stop looking at it. The fact that this tiny being will one day be a full grown person is crazy!
Other than extreme fatigue and having morning sickness, I am fine. Granted, the sickness isn’t cool at all. The Dr. did put me on an anti-nausea diet, and for the most part it works well. But, I know that I will occasionally have mornings like this morning when I am jumping up and praying I make to the bathroom in time. :-) Fun times!
4 comments:
Oh, Heather! What a changing time for you. I remember how very scared I was when I found out I was pregnant with Graham (Bailey was only 7 months old). I spent many of those first moments in tears, wondering how I would cope with 2 little ones. But- as time went on, I accepted that pregnancy and soon became excited about it. Still scared about the future, but happy to have a healthy little one. You will be a great mom, Heather and hopefully the morning sickness will be mild and not stick around to long. The ultrasounds are amazing to watch, especially as they get bigger. Congratulations to both of you!
Oh my gosh Heather!!!! This post brought tears to my eyes. You and Jake are going to be such great parents!!!! I was wondering if you were pregnant when you kept blogging about feeling badly, but I didn't want to scare you, lol. Wow, one month is already gone, and the good news is that the morning sickness usually stops by the second trimester. Congrats to both of you. I bet your parents are crazy happy!
I know I already told you and Jake congrats, but congrats again. I would have reacted the same way you did-scared, stunned, tears of absolute terror, but I know you'll be excited about it soon/already are. I can't wait to you guy's kid :). Hey-I'm an Aunt right? Love you to bits!
I'm so happy for both of you!!! It really moves me, it's so unbelievable, it's so existing and scary at the same time...
Adrien.
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