I am so behind on blogging it isn't even funny. So, I have decided that I am not going to try and catch up on everything that is going on in my life. It seems like all we do is go in circles! Everything is going good with us right now, there hasn't been any drama really. Ryan is growing every day, and just gets more cute every time I look at him! He is really developing a personality, and yes he is going to be like his dad. :-) Watch out world! He is also very much a boy. He loves the word "gross" and "disgusting." And (not to be gross) every time he passes gas he laughs. These days he is a mama's boy, and is very clingy. Hopefully, he won't be clingy like I was. (it was seriously crippling at times.)
As for Jake, he is working on shooting a short film the end of April. We are very excited about it. It will be the first film that he has directed and wrote.
What about me you ask? :-) I am hanging in there. Breastfeed and returning to work is proving to be a HUGE challenge for me. Which in return is really stressing me out. I am pumping 5 times a day on top of actual nursing. I think the stress is making it difficult to pump what I need to pump volume wise. So, I have talked to Jake and we are going to consider supplementing one bottle a day so I can feel a little less pressure at work. Lord knows I am stressed out enough there as it is. (We are short staffed and I am getting the short end of that stick.) At first I was really upset at the idea, but then I reminded myself that he is still getting my milk for 6 other feedings. And, I also am trying to remind myself that a lot of preemie babies never get to BF and I should be thankful that he gets any at all.
So, in a nut shell, I have been extremely worried and beating myself up, all while trying to convince myself that its ok. Does bi-polar sound familiar? :-)
If you have any advice I would really appreciate it!
6 comments:
no comments on breast feeding, sorry :), but don't beat yourself up. You guys are great parents Heather, you are doing an amazing job! And I am so excited for Jake and his movie!!! I bet he's having a blast! I can't wait to meet Ryan either! I'll probably be back for a few days in ....May? gosh right now everything is nuts w/ student teaching. Can't wait to see you all though!
Oh my goodness, don't worry about the bottle stuff. But I can relate, I used to freak out if someone tried to give Levi a bottle. I guess it made me feel like I was failing him somehow. But that kid ate and ate and ate, and it was summer and HOT. My grandmama started calling me the Playboy Bunny because I was so huge, lol. (still have the stretch marks to prove it too) I can understand where you are coming from. Just curious....are you using an electric breast pump? Those are amazing. A friend of mine pumper her milk at work in the bathroom while looking at a picture of her daughter. Try it while plugged into your iPod, it may help you lesson the stress. Bottom line, you and Jake do what is best for YOU, and don't worry about what other people say. Another two months and he can have other stuff and won't be nursing as much, he may be having a growth spurt right now. Hang in there.
Awe! Thank you guys so much. :-)
And yes Shannon, I am using a great pump. But, I am still only getting about 12oz in the three pumps I do at work. And the herbs that were recommended to me hurt my stomach. So, well see how he does with one formula bottle a day. He had problems when he was a newborn. Hopefully his stomach can handle it now. Thank you again for the encouraging words!
Girl...hang in there...I know what you mean about the bottle thing...but I promise he will be fine if you give him formula...it's hard though, there is part of you that thinks...but he's only ever had breast milk and that's the way I want it! I am there too right now! and as long as he seems content and isn't waking all hours of the night, then don't worry about the volume you pump... he might be eating less during the day (from the bottle) b/c he's not nursing, but then taking much more from you at night and early in the morning when you are nursing him!....he can control it like that, and if so then he might not need so much during the day....hence the reason you can't pump much. I agree w/ Shannon, try to plug into your ipod and look at pictures...it will help your milk come in when you are pumping! Also make sure you are getting enough water and eating enough to keep up your milk supply! alot of mom's don't eat good and loose their milk that way too! You have to have enough "good" calories in your diet to produce milk! There is a book called "The nursing mothers companion" by Kathleen Huggins you might want to check it out, I use it as a resource when I'm concerned about an issue! Hang in there, and know that even if you stopped nursing completely today, you are still an awesome mother who has Ryan's best interest at the top of your list!
Thank you Beth. I think you may be on to something with the diet thing too. It seemed like I was hungry all the time a few weeks ago, and now I'm not. And, because of that I am finding it hard to eat as much as I should be eating to keep up. I will have to look into getting that book. It is just really hard to eat well when working full time. I am looking forward to a little later this year when I won't have to pump anymore and can just nurse! :-) If I can just make it until then...
Thanks!!!
I know you don't need the comments of a 59 year old grandma, but what Beth, Shannon, and the others have told you is certainly true. Relax, and give Ryan whatever milk you have. Then give him a bottle if you need to. He'll be fine. Any amount of breastfeeding is great for babies. That bottle will help his mom be a better mom because she will be more relaxed. He certainly is a cutie.
Judy
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