For the past while, almost a year to be honest, I have been feeling very overwhelmed and on the verge of burning out. I've always been a slightly depressed person, with a tendency to be doom and gloom. I've tried really hard to change that aspect of my life, and for a few years (aka: at the beach) I thought I was able to work on it. I realize now that I wasn't really working on anything and simply redirecting my attention to other things and people.
Last year I lost a very dear friend and as a result everything that I had worked so hard to push down, started coming back to the surface. I have never lost anyone that meant so much to me. For months I cried myself to sleep. Even after I pulled it together and started to move on, I just wasn't the same. I realized in the past month that I am tired all the time,I don't want to do anything social, I am not happy, and as a result it has caused me to be really snippy with Jake, and even Ryan.
I have thought and thought about how I can fix this, how can I work on my life. I feel ridiculous. I have absolutely NO reason to be like this. There is no reason to feel like I do. Everything in our lives right now is good. We live in a decent house, in a half decent neighborhood. We both have good jobs. Our son is healthy and is in a great preschool. We've had some car issues, but who hasn't? We are paying down debt, all our bills get paid on time, and we have a little extra money for fun stuff. So, with all this in mind, I have decided to change a few small things and see if it helps.
Starting tonight, Ryan will be going to bed at 8 and by himself. Lately, he has been going to bed too late and I have been sitting in the room until he goes to sleep. This only allows me about 30mins to myself in the evening. I realize that I need some "ME" time. I need to unwind and just relax a little. Maybe by doing this I will go to bed a little earlier too...maybe.
I changed some eating habits, although you wouldn't know it from this past weekend! LOL
As a result I have lost weight, and feel better about myself physically at least.
I want to start exercising, if I can find the energy and motivation. (Its hard to do it alone...)
I also wanted to share this with my friends, because I know that you guys are my ultimate support group. We may not hang out, or talk on the phone, but I have always received solid advice and words of encouragement from you guys. (except that one stranger who sent me nasty comments about ultrasounds....)
Anyway....if you have any advice, please share! And, if you don't that is ok too.
2 comments:
Sounds like you have a good start on this. Talking to other women and exercising helps me tremendiously. As does the earlier bedtimes. At Bethany's bridal shower 2 moms there put their preschool aged kids to bed very late. It really is important for you to have down time in the evenings to yourself and with Jake. Another thing I love is every two weeks Landon and I have started going to see a movie (without kids). May not seem like much, but we have come to look forward to it. Allot of times we don't even pick it out until we get there. Another thing that helps me is our Sunday School class. We have about 30 couples in there ranging from aged 22-late thirties. I find myself sad if we miss it one Sunday. Those guys are my support group. I know I can go to them with anything and they will help with open arms. Maybe me, you, Bethany and whomever else is interested could meet one day a week and walk at Rock Creek Park.
I think that would be great! I work Mon-Thur, would a Friday or Sat work? Let me know! I love the church I am playing for now, but there is only one other girl my age. And she is really really shy. I've tried to get together with her and her little girl for a play date, but she hasn't shown ANY interest. :-( I am hoping to possibly volunteer at the preschool Ryan attends, this fall. I think it would help to be around other mom's. I appreciate your comment!
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